Memories Rush Back

I can't stop thinking about him now. I wonder how he's doing. Oh, let me clarify who I'm writing about. I dated this guy for a few months, like 5 years ago. The reason why I'm remembering him is because I came across a song we used to listen to all the time. We used to blast it on my mom's DJ. The music sounded throughout the neighborhood. We thought we were all cool, lol. Anyway, we made some great memories. I liked him a lot. He was so sweet and had an innocence to him, even though he was a gangster. He said he loved me and would do anything for me. But, I just couldn't respond. I was scared. I didn't believe him. What would have become of my life if I would have stayed with him?

Man, I just remembered, he broke my heart! :( It's a trip how the memories rush back. I had blocked him out all these years. This is so strange. I remember being mad. I couldn't stop crying. My sister was actually being nice to me and trying to console me. I think this is when I changed. I became more careful. I didn't want to feel what I felt that night ever again. After that experience, I gave all the guys that liked me a hard time. I push them away. I didn't want to get close to anyone. I felt vulnerable. I still feel like that, but I can't allow myself to stay stuck in teenage heartbreak mode. I want to fall in love. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach every time I think about him. I want to love and feel loved. When will he show up and take my breath away?