I feel like my first relationship wasn't really a "relationship". What do I mean? I mean, it was more of a friendship with benefits than anything romantic or special. Honestly, I thought that was the type of relationship I wanted, but as I reflect back on it, all I have are empty memories. I felt shallow emotions for this guy and never anything real. I can't really explain what I was feeling, except that it was mostly sexual and not emotional. I was sexually frustrated, I think it's called. I confuse my thoughts and feelings. I guess that's a reason for my strange behavior, LOL!
So, what am I looking for? What do I need? I just want to be happy, man. Will anyone make me happy? I think that's where the problem resides. I need to find ways, things, to make myself happy before I can expect anyone else to. Right? I think I just resolved my own problem. I shouldn't get involved with anyone until I figure out what it is I like and need.
Entertain me! :)
What type of relationships do you seek? Do you look for meaningful relationships or fun one night stands? Which do you recommend? Does it depend on your mood or situation? What would you do in my situation?
Namaste my sister Bee. I have been following your thoughts this last week. I have reserved comment in the desire to better establish your demeanor.
ReplyDeleteIf we look closely at the people in our life trends about ourselves begin to emerge. Few people are aware of the fact we choose our parents and location of birth. Your soul knows what it needs in the incarnation Bee. Your entire reality is guided secretly by your soul. Thoughts, feelings and emotions from the depth of your heart relays signals to your brain which, in turn, creates the essence of your perception of reality. Your sister as well plays a fundamental and reciprocal role in the establishment of your mutual reality. In other words, we feed each other the reality we require. Traipsing through life, we attract experience, thereby changing and evolving the needs of spirit.
Looking at dysfunction; by example your sister, we find it difficult to come to terms with their choices. Often is the case we choose to judge their expressions. When we make judgment, we do so from the platform of ego self. Ego is not a bad thing, it is merely a reflection of illusion. Ego is the teacher, the master, the monkey mind. By identifying with the physical self we create confusion, ignorance and illusion.
However it is this very misalignment which shows us the path to freedom of the soul. This path to the true GodSelf within is the raison d'etre for all mankind.
We are not body, we are eternal GodSelf consciousness. Clearing the rubble of a demolished mind affords us the opportunity to recreate a new identity. Fear, confusion, judgment, separation, all give way when we discover unity. Unconditional love, acceptance, grace and dignity replace the old paradigm. The ego self yields eventually to the GodSelf.
The partners we attract play a vital role in the development of self. Our lovers reflect to us the fundamental experiences we require. We attract lovers to serve our ego self and repel them when they no longer serve our needs. This may seem crass but a true perspective of energy teaches us that all matter is truly divine photon energy. It is this beautiful balance between yin and yang which pushes us like a warm soft breeze toward enlightenment.
It is very apropos that we should attract and repel. Problems arise in relationships when one or both parties have consumed their need for the others energy signature but fail to see they are satiated. Much like sitting down to Christmas dinner becoming satiated but still eating more. This overindulgence is most certainly uncomfortable whether physical or ethereal.
Follow your heart and inner voice my dear sister Bee. Listen to your needs whilst finding ways to extend beyond your comfort zone mentally and physically. You are a beautiful person, judgment does not flow well with your personal chi.
If I were in your situation my sister. I would look in my heart each day to eradicate fear and embrace love. Understanding how thoughts, feeling and emotions create our reality, I would pay very close attention to my thoughts. I would seek to understand what it means when people say we are ONE. Mostly I would seek to accept an love all beings and all creation. Judgment contracts our heart, unconditional love and acceptance expands our entire reality. These simple and attentive actions I do every hour of every day. Many years ago I determined it was in my best interest to seek unconditional love. I have never looked back nor have I ever regretted this life changing choice.
In Lak' esh, my dear sister, only love need apply...